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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29291232">what was it all for?</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/itisjosh/pseuds/itisjosh'>itisjosh</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>onlypain [50]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Video Blogging RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Betrayal, Brothers, Canonical Character Death, Gen, Goodbyes, Heavy Angst, Hurt No Comfort, Major Character Injury, Murder, War, Wilbur Soot and TommyInnit are Siblings, accidental murder, but instead of phil it's tommy lmao, oops :), the button room scene</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 06:06:46</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,230</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29291232</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/itisjosh/pseuds/itisjosh</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Tommy pushes the stone slab out of the way, clearing his throat. "What are you doing?" He asks, his voice echoing in the small room. </p><p>Wilbur whirls around, his hand flying down to his side as he turns. "What does it look like, Tommy?"</p><p>(or, instead of phil showing up at the button room, it's tommy)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Wilbur Soot &amp; TommyInnit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>onlypain [50]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2027711</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>399</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>what was it all for?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Tommy is terrified. </p><p>Wilbur is nowhere to be seen, and there's a sinking feeling in Tommy's gut that won't go away. He looks around, scanning the entirety of L'manberg for any sight of his older brother, listening to his ears ring. Everyone else is happy and laughing, celebrating Tubbo's new success, and as much as Tommy wants to do the same, he can't. He pushes himself off of his seat, subtly sneaking away from everyone else. He knows where the button room is - Wilbur showed him before. He keeps his footsteps as quiet as he can, not wanting to startle his older brother if he's seriously considering pushing that button. </p><p>Tommy doesn't know <em>why</em> he would want to push that stupid fucking button. They won, they won the <em>war!</em> They fought so hard for their country and they won, and now Wilbur just wants to get rid of it? He just wants to blow it all up? There's no reason for that, but Wilbur's gone fucking mental. Tommy thought he wouldn't be as unstable once they won the war, but apparently he was wrong. He stares at the mountain in front of him, the laughs and cheers of his friends fading with every step that he takes. Tommy breathes out, feeling his heart pound in his chest, terror gripping him by the throat.</p><p>What if he's too late? What if he gets into that room and Wilbur presses the button? Both of them will die, both of them would die from that. Tommy might be able to get away and get back to the front of L'manberg, but there wouldn't even <em>be</em> any L'manberg left. Tommy walks forwards, pressing his hand against the fake slab of stone and dirt, trying to listen for any words or breathing or anything. </p><p>"I'm sorry, Tommy." </p><p>The words are more than enough for him to know, even if they're faint and quiet and whispered. Tommy pushes the stone slab out of the way, clearing his throat. "What are you doing?" He asks, his voice echoing in the small room. Wilbur whirls around, his hand flying down to his side as he turns. Tommy feels his heart leap up to his throat, wondering if he got there right in time. "Wilbur?" Tommy frowns, watching as his brother refuses to meet his eyes. "What the fuck are you doing, Wilbur? What are you doing?" </p><p>"What does it look like, Tommy?" Wilbur laughs, his voice gentle and soft. "I'm finally ending it. I'm ending it all. I'm making sure that things don't repeat themselves. This is the only way, Tommy, this is it. This is the only way," Wilbur murmurs. "It's the only way." </p><p>"What the fuck do you mean?" Tommy asks, stepping into the room. "What are you <em>on</em> about?" He raises his voice, wanting to grab Wilbur and shake him until he gets his fucking sense back. "What the <em>fuck</em> are you talking about, Will?" Tommy leans forwards, furrowing his eyebrows together. "Everyone is happy! We're all happy, all of us are! We won the war, why..why are you still so <em>hellbent</em> on doing this? Why?" He shakes his head, narrowing his eyes. "Why do you want to do this to us? Why do you want to hurt all of us, Will? Why?"</p><p>"<em>Aut viam inveniam aut faciam</em>, Tommy," Wilbur smiles at him, tapping his fingers together. "I will either find a way, or I will make one," he murmurs, translating the words quietly. "And do you know how I'm going to make a way?" Tommy stares at him, narrowing his eyes at the man.</p><p>"Don't you <em>fucking</em> dare. Don't. Wilbur, I'm being serious. Don't fucking do it."</p><p>"It's far too late, Tommy," Wilbur barks out a laugh, tears trailing down his face as he speaks. "It's far too late. It's always been too late. Tommy," he smiles, sniffling. "We both ran out of time. We're out of time, and this is how it ends. This is how it has to end."</p><p>"No, it's not!" Tommy protests. "It doesn't have to end like this, you fucking idiot! Step away from that goddamn button, Will. Or else I.."</p><p>Wilbur smiles. "Or else what, Tommy? Or else you'll kill me?"</p><p>Tommy raises his crossbow, pointing it directly at Wilbur's chest. "Yeah," he agrees, his voice cracking. "Or else I'll kill you," Wilbur stands a little straighter, his eyebrows flying up to his hairline. "Don't make me do it, Will. Don't make me. I don't want to hurt you, Will, I don't want to," Tommy whispers, locking eyes with his brother. "Don't make me hurt you. I- I'll do it, Wilbur. I'll do it," Wilbur tears his gaze away, practically burning a hole in the ground with how hard he's staring at it. "Will, <em>please</em>," Tommy hates how his tone turns desperate, he hates how weak he sounds. "Please. I don't want to do this. Please, just- just come with me, okay? Let's go back home."</p><p>"This was never home," Wilbur laughs. "This was never home, Tommy. This is hell," he looks back up at him, the bags under his eyes unbelievably apparent in the dim light. "No, Tommy, this wasn't home. This <em>isn't</em> home. I'm not going anywhere, Tommy," Wilbur holds up his hands, an exhausted smile crossing his lips. His eyes are frenzied and wild and hurt, and Tommy feels his chest tighten, the air catching in his throat. "Remember what Eret said, all those months ago?"</p><p>"Will," Tommy listens to his voice break. "Will, don't."</p><p>"It was never meant to be, Tommy," Wilbur whispers, a watery smile on his face. "It was never meant to be. Tommy," Wilbur turns his back on him, motioning to the button. "Look. I'm right here. I've been so close to pressing this <em>stupid</em> button," he laughs, "<em>so</em> many times. So many times. I found a way, Tommy," Wilbur murmurs. "I found a way to end it all, and I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I've been <em>so</em> close to pressing this button, and every time I get interrupted. I'm sorry, Tommy. I'm going to do it." </p><p>Tommy feels tears trail down his face, he feels his heart start to break. "Will, we can make it better. We can fix it. Wilbur, listen," Tommy moves forwards, lowering his crossbow. "L'manberg is a bit fucked right now, but we- we can fix it, you know? We can fix it! It'll be you and I, it's always been you and I, hasn't it? We can fix all of this. Tubbo's President, I'll be his Vice, and- and you can just sit back and watch it all fucking happen! It'll be okay, we can make it better. I promise that we'll make it better."</p><p>"Tommy," Wilbur turns back to face him, tilting his head to the side. "It was fucked from the start." </p><p>"Will, it wasn't, it-"</p><p>"It was never meant to be." </p><p>Tommy doesn't hear himself scream, but he's convinced that he does. He raises his crossbow, firing as fast as he can, hoping to god that it doesn't hurt Wilbur too badly, he hopes to god that it just stuns him, that he falls to the ground and Tommy can grab him. Tommy feels the world stop, he feels everything around him freeze. The bolt is through Wilbur's chest, the wall in front of him is half gone, stone splintering out. Tommy races forwards as fast as he can, because if he doesn't, Wilbur is going to die. He grabs the back of his brother's cloak, dragging him back. He moves in front of him, throwing out his arms to block as much of the explosion as he can. His arms burn, his shirt sears to his skin and he feels like he's being burnt alive, but he doesn't move away from the flames until Wilbur is away from the danger. </p><p>The world crashes back into him, and he falls to his knees. His screaming cuts out, his ears ring so hard that he can't hear anything else. He moves on his knees, trying his best to stand back up. Tommy opens his eyes, looking down at Wilbur in front of him. "Will?" He whispers, voice raspy and broken. "Will, I didn't.." Wilbur's eyes flicker up to him. Blood trickles from out of his mouth, his eyes half-lidded. "Wilbur," Tommy hears his voice crack again. "Wilbur, I'm sorry, I didn't.."</p><p>"Shh," Wilbur murmurs, stumbling to push himself up. He falls back to the ground with a cry before Tommy can catch him. Tommy moves to let Wilbur lay across his legs, reaching out to hold his hand. It's stained with soot and blood. "It's okay, Tommy. It's okay," Wilbur smiles at him, his lips stained red. "Go on. They'll.." Wilbur trails off. "They'll see you with me. They'll think you're a traitor."</p><p>"No," Tommy sobs, shaking his head. "No, no. No. I'm not leaving. I'm not leaving. I'm not going to leave you. This is my fault, fuck, <em>fuck!</em> I'm sorry, I shouldn't have shot, I was just- I thought- I thought.." he breathes in, trying to calm himself. He's done this before, he can fix things. The world has been put on his shoulder so many times, he needs to <em>calm the fuck down</em>. "Okay, okay," Tommy nods to himself. "Okay. We can get you some healing potions. I'll get you a healing potion, we'll put you in bed, and-"</p><p>Wilbur laughs, broken and bleary and exhausted. "Tommy. I don't want you to bring me a healing potion."</p><p>"What? Why? No, we have to get you one. You don't have a fucking choice in this, you goddamn fucking <em>asshole</em>. You don't get to tell me that," Tommy looks out of the hole that Wilbur's left in the mountain, staring down at the people below him. He gasps at the sight of Withers and Techno and Tubbo, and..no one is going to help him. They're not even looking at him. "You can't die," Tommy whispers. "You can't fucking die. You can't do that to me."</p><p>"I'm sorry, Tommy," Wilbur smiles gently, his eyes less crazed. They look clearer than they have in months. "Really. I'm sorry."</p><p>"Why now?" Tommy asks, wiping away his tears. "Why is it now that you've come back? Why? Why now? Now was the best time for you to realise that you.." Tommy laughs, bitter and hurt. "Why? Why did you do this?" Wilbur closes his eyes, his chest heaving a few times. "Will, please. I don't want to lose you. I don't have anyone like you. I- I'll only have Tubbo after this, please, Wilbur. I don't want to lose you." </p><p>Wilbur turns his head to the side, his smile never leaving his face. "You'll be fine without me. You've done it before. You'll do it..you'll do it again," he clears his throat. "You'll be fine. You never needed me in the first place."</p><p>"No, no, no, Will, that's- that's not true," Tommy shakes his head. "<em>So</em> many people need you Will, I need- I can't.." Tommy wants to get up and find a potion, he wants to rush out and cry for help, but if he leaves, Wilbur will die alone. Wilbur isn't going to make it. </p><p>Wilbur is going to die. </p><p>Tommy can either leave and let Wilbur die alone, or he can stay. Maybe he could make it, maybe he could just <em>barely</em> make it to get Wilbur a potion. Tommy closes his eyes, feeling his heart finally break in half. He won't be able to make it. He doesn't even know if there are any potions around, there's no way he'll be able to make it. "I'm sorry, Wilbur," Tommy whispers. He shouldn't have shot. He should have known better. Tommy looks up at the stone roof above them, blinking rapidly. "I'm going to miss you."</p><p>He feels cold. Numb, even. Tommy has stopped crying, the tears have dried up now. He feels so, so numb. "I'll miss you too, Tommy," Wilbur murmurs. "Don't say goodbye, okay? It makes it so much worse." </p><p>"Yeah," Tommy agrees, looking away. "You really were supposed to live through everything. You weren't supposed to die," Wilbur laughs, even though Tommy wasn't joking. "I'm serious, Will. You were never supposed to die. It should have been me. That's what it was set up for," Tommy shakes his head. "I was supposed to die for L'manberg one last time. That's how it was supposed to happen."</p><p>"No, Tommy," Wilbur sighs. "No. It was never going to be you. You, Tommy," Wilbur beams at him, looking so lucid and <em>alive</em>. "You're meant for living. You were never going to die, Tommy."</p><p>Tommy laughs, scoffing right after. "You're dramatic. I'm meant for living?" He rolls his eyes. "Fuck that. <em>Fuck</em> that. I'm not meant for shit. You were, though," Tommy sniffles, breathing out. The air smells like blood. "I love you, Wilbur. I'll make you proud. I promise." </p><p>"I love you too, Tommy," Wilbur takes in a shaky breath. "I'll see you around, Tommy."</p><p>"Yeah," Tommy agrees. "I'll see you around, Will."</p><p>There's silence. Blood stains his hands and the ground around him. Wilbur's coat is soaked in it.</p><p>The ringing in his ears comes back, stronger than it had been before.</p><p>It's so loud, in fact, that Tommy can't hear himself screaming.</p>
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